Ok more mellow now, so guess mind’s more clearer now instead of the mish-mash, corrupted state as compared to yesterday. Feelings of emptiness and void still exist. The piece of paper is really just a piece of paper. Nothing much at all…
Anyway was looking at classified looking for certain model just couldn’t really decide, maybe coz no experience in such field. Was quite sian then didn’t bothered. Decided to beef up my inner self. Empty vessel makes the most noise. See not only a superficial spoilt idiot here u know… haha…
Was on my way out, enjoying the aftermath of torrential downpour. Smell of monsoon rain, redolent of the tropical vegetation and fresh air hanging elsewhere. Didn’t leant to appreciate such trivial details before. Who would slow down and smell the roses? On the way, so coincidental met a really old friend. Haven’t meet up for like close to five years. Called him he was quite stunned. Nearly couldn’t recognize me. Said changed a lot. Took that as a compliment, duh… was chatting for like ages. Stood at the overhead bridge for like 1.5hr. Think other people think we were cracked but didn’t bother. Caught up with a lot of stuff. Seem so distant quite we still managed to find the same few topics to chat about. Maybe that’s why we are friends not acquaintances. What if it were one-sided? Don’t give a damn.
Life’s is really full of surprises, you would really not know whom to expect at the very next turn. Cliché as this maybe, but it’s the same as a box of chocolate.
Life…
wx at 1/27/2007 11:32:00 PM
Its going to be a long post coz being quite slack and high now.
Pass. Finally can get to use michelle's plate. Been waiting for it to come for so long. Excruciating pain and agony consumed me while waiting. Its quite silly I know but at that very moment that was what engulfed my whole cerebral. Maybe was being just jumpy, couldn’t really stop being so panicky. Others seem to have infected by me. Haha… I don’t give a damn to them. Never bother about such externalities. Paid 50 bucks for that piece of paper but the actual momentary cost was much steeper. The emotional trauma and agonizing wait for training slots were hell. All this trouble for that small pathetic piece of statement. Who needs there confirmation and acknowledgement? Actually everyone that enrolled does...lame...fuck that experience, never will be wanting more of it. Fuckers...(in a pleasant tone)
Was exalted at first but felt empty not so after. Was void of emotions as I retrospect, was it necessary at all. There could have been other paramount things in life then getting that paper. Don't really know what I am rambling about. Maybe its just trash that needed to expurgated from my mind. Sigh...it is human nature that when we are so blinded in striving for our desire and that when we achieved it, the achievement then no longer seem to matter already. Not saying that process is more important, but what's the emptiness that plagues us when our goals are achieved. Shouldn't we be forever glad and satisfied? Maybe its just me, I really don't know...
Besides this incident, was quite surprised by the many changes in people's blog. Some were plain superficial while others were just plain sordid. Oh, meiting linked me though. Anyway read this junior blog and he was like saying that orientation was so nice and stuff and I really felt that I wanted to relive those moments. However what is past cannot be re-enacted but merely forms a tiny part called memory. Was smsing wes, and he was also saying how the “green” realm sucks big time. Told him to just float through and it would be all over like me. He snapped back and said that it was easier said than done. Totally agree with him coz that was what I felt no so long ago till was liberated early dec. looking back at all this I really feel old and weary. Maybe I am just jaded; maybe I am bit emo...
wx at 1/26/2007 03:14:00 PM
Think that should blog so that what going to do now. Sound fragmented but this what happens when being in office cubicle too long nothing much to do except to be in trance or daze.
Youtube is constantly on faves, newspapers are what I read, blogs are where I paparazzi. Been to many people blog, found out many juicy bits. Thought might sound rather prying and nosy, they are revelations to vis-à-vis to humdrum of organizational life. Cant imagine what would be like in the not so distant future. Maybe that’s why blog can help improve on the typing skills here. Lame...
Read many people’s blogs especially those juniors. They are like having orientations or busy mugging. Was reading their blog and eyes were very somnolent. They should keep those superfluous animation out or the least bowdlerized. Just want to know what happened and not want to see what you fancy blog can do. Nonetheless, realized that I have really aged. Striplings' lingo is no longer that responsive to our ears. School and lectures are alien to us. Wonder how would my response to school when it really starts soon. Heard many orientation stories and didn’t know that they could actually be fun. Those days orientations were boring and lame. People find it unglam and waste of time. Maybe coz nowdays people are more excitined about such trivial stuff, or maybe during our days orientations really did suck. Don’t remember orientations as ever being pleasurable. Those were the days man...
Sigh really seem very elderly now or is it just being jaded?
Oh been planning to drop by London this year before school starts so people that are there can be prepared to do tour guiding since I have been insinuating my plans to some friends already. That could be my goal for working then...
wx at 1/12/2007 04:22:00 PM
its the new year already and its 2007. they say that a when a new year arrives, its a moment for retrospec and remembrances. so i ought to follow suit and be cliche by thinking back about 2006... (it would not be too long since i dont think i am used to typing on this new laptop that i am currently... the wifi connection seem to be a bit screwy too...)
2006 was rather ambivalent. though i was liberated and exalted about it but that also means that i have aged. no longer being labelled a teenager means that i am no longer that young and must move on in life. therefore i would need to start to find my own bread and butter. parents were incessantly persuading that i should have more social experiences so i was thus cast into the social ocean of treachery and left to fend for myself. though this sound rather hyperbolic...
works does not suck as much as i thought that it would be. didnt need to dress up in long sleeve and leather shoes to work just polo and sneaks. maybe its coz i am too causual for my own good. haha... the place is cool, literally and there's much freedom esp for "youngster" that could explain why i am blogging now... haha... think they should try to provide better laptop still cant get used to this one i am using... went to watch youtube daily and read those online news report here while i work... what i sight man... if this is the true life that comes in the future, who would mind?
enough of crapping and back to some serious pondering. was having lunch and then surpriseing meet up with a very old friend. didnt say much but the usual take care and crappy shit. whatever i dont care thanks for just dropping by out of no where.
need to go rest my eyes now been starin the screen too long, need to go read instead... must become more scholarly when entering uni... done...
Happy 2007...
wx at 1/05/2007 02:00:00 PM